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[Lois] It seems today That all you see Is violence and movies And sex on TV

[Peter] But where are those good old fashioned values? On which we used to rely?

[Brian] It used to be A big time star Was Elegant as Garbo Or Hedy Lamarr

[Stewie] But now we got whores like Jenny Lopez You want to curl up and die

[Chorus] Lucky there's a family guy Lucky there's a man who positively can do All the things that make us

[Stewie] Laugh and cry


[Chorus] He's a family guy

[Lois] When I was young The songs were fair With Mister Johnny Mathis And Sonny and Cher

[Peter] But now we got Justin Timber-homo

[Lois] A heartache all gone awry

[Brian] The classic films Were works of arts The images were graceful The stories were smart

[Stewie] But now we get Matrix Revolution I'm sorry I know this doesn't rhyme But what the hell were you Wachowski Brothers thinking?!


[Chorus] Lucky there's a family guy Lucky there's a fella Sweeter than vanilla Wholesome as a piece of

[Stewie] Apple pie

[Chorus] He's a family guy!

[Lois] His smiles a simple delight

[Chris] He lets me see the boobies on the internet sites

[Lois] Peter!

[Meg] He bought my cute little hat

[Brian] Yeah we should talk about that (About that! And his hat!)


[Musical Break]

[Brian] He's mastered the comedy arts

[Stewie] He says, "Look out Hiroshima!" then casually farts

[Lois] He's loaded with sexy appeal

[Peter] And best of all my titties are real. Have a feel

[Brian] No thank you

[Stewie] I gave it the office

[Lois] The Brady Bunch Has got their Mike And pretty Laura Petrie Has Dicky Van Dyke But who around here could fill these loafers?

[Chorus] But here's a happy reply Lucky there's a family guy Lucky there's a man who positively can do All the things that make us

[Stewie] Laugh and cry

[Chorus] He's...a...fam...ily...guy!

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